Stolen moments
by FantasticallyFanatical
Summary: Everything is wrong as their lips merge and her stomach jerks in a way that it never has before. He steals her heart, she steals away her feelings and together, they're stealing stolen moments.
1. Chapter 1

"Jesse?" She's genuinely shocked (but not surprised) to see him, even if it is in her bedroom. On a Tuesday.

"Who else?" He's cocky and she doesn't like it.

"I'm surprised you even recognise me, you know, minus the egg."

"Rachel-"

"Get out." She's soft and sharp and it pulls at him. "Please." Her dads would want her to be polite. So would her mum, she's discovered.

"No." Now he's sharp, and stern with it. She sighs and turns her back on him. He might not leave but that doesn't mean she has to listen.

"Finn will be over in a minute." It's a cheap dig and a low shot, and they both know it.

"Him? Your little plaything to stop the hurt?" He's mocking her and this is why they can never work. Finn's not a lot of things, but he's genuine and that's what she needs right now. "Rachel, you and I both know that is never going to work."

She brushes a tear away – _Why am I crying? _– and turns back to face him. "It's working fine, thank you."

He knows her smile is as fake as his nonchalance, because at the end of they day they're one and the same, actors through and through. He manhandles a photograph of her and Finn, carelessly tossing it aside. And that's why she knows Jesse St James, the only man she can't seem to understand, will only ever break her heart. He'll toss it aside just as carelessly and she can't survive that again. No-one could.

"No congratulations?" He's smug but only because he's hurt. He needs her affirmation because without it, the win seems kind of pointless. But he won't ever tell _her_ that.

"No apology?" She counters quickly.

"What, for loving you?" She's heard that word too many times to even know it's meaning now. And that's the problem with these teenage boys; they scatter words across their lips ignorant of the meanings. And Rachel Berry strives off meanings. She takes them and turns them and sings them back to you in a harmony fit for angels. So when the boy in front of her uses that word again, it barely touches her surface.

She tries (and fails) to think of an answer so sarcastic even Kurt would be proud, but she can't muster anything up and he of course takes her silence to mean her defeat. But it's a shallow victory.

"What do you want, Jesse?"

"From you?" He takes a step towards her and she catches herself on the edge of the bed. She sits, barely making a dent. "Answers."

"Rich, coming from you." He knows he deserves that one. And probably plenty more.

"What are you doing with that idiot?" His eyes flutter shut in contempt.

"Finn's not an idiot," She's quick to defend him because she feels she should do. Finn told her he loved her yet it's Jesse who stands in her bedroom.

"How did you know I was talking about Finn?" The way he stares is almost sub-human. The need in his eyes worries her, just slightly, and her fingers curl under, grasping the duvet gently. He takes a seat next to her and places a hand atop hers - he always was possessive. He knows he should be enough – _more_ than enough – for her. So that's why he takes his other hand to the side of her face, but she flinches and scoots backwards.

"Why do you think I'm going to hurt you?" He seems to be genuinely concerned. Doesn't she realise he'll never hurt her?

"Why do you think you won't?" Doesn't he realise he already has?

"Because-" he doesn't finish the sentence – mainly because he can't – so resolves to place his lips on hers and claim her as his. Everything is wrong as their lips merge and her stomach jerks in a way that it never has before. And the worst thing is, Finn really could be coming over but in an effort to forget him, her hand instinctively finds the nape of his neck.

He groans, then sighs.

She moans and cries. (Well, five tears escape but he's still quick enough to notice.)

"W-wait, why are you crying?" This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"Don't you know?"

He knows wholeheartedly and brings her lips to his in a clash of tension and colour and music. And it makes the sweetest sound that sends ethereal tingles all around his body. She's breathy and blushing as he pulls away and stands up beside her.

"I'm sorry," he stutters suddenly and makes his dramatic exit, leaving her sat on her bed, more hurt than ever.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Eee, first and foremost thank you for the reviews and alerts and whatnot. I'm really glad you're liking this since Jesse and Rachel deserve to be liked. (Massively - but I think I'm a little biased.) I hope you enjoy this and as always, read, review and enjoy.**

The next time she sees him, she's full of rage and hurt and anger. So she barges past him to let him know. She's not his for the taking, and now she never will be. He's walked away too many times, and that's why she won't let him in. Not now. She's never wanted to see Finn more but it's Puck who comes to her rescue, sweeping an arm around her shoulders and flicking a vulgar gesture in Jesse's direction.

"Think the punk might've got the message." Rachel hopes Puck is right.

Puck isn't right.

**-StB-**

He catches her as she walks home, spying her from across the street. It's almost stalking, how he always knows where'll she be. But she's just as guilty, because her mind is always wondering the same thing about him; she just doesn't have the guts to act upon it. And in some ways, she's thankful. "How are you?" It's a pleasant enough greeting, one that she still feels doesn't deserve an answer. Not after everything. She repeats her mantra over and over, _I'm with Finn, I'm with Finn, I'm with Finn_ because when Jesse's around, time tends to lapse and she starts to remember what it was like being with him. And not Finn.

"I'm Finn - I mean fine, I'm fine." She clears her throat awkwardly and smoothes down non-existent creases in her blouse. "How are you?"

He doesn't answer, just offers her a glimpse of a smile. How can he answer, when he can't even concentrate without her name tarnishing his thoughts? He accidentally copies her and clears his own throat and she watches him warily, even more so as he reaches behind his back. If it's another egg, she swears this is the last time she trusts this anomaly in front of her (though she knows that's a lie – she'll trust him forever and that will always be her downfall.)

But she doesn't have to worry (yet), it's a letter, not an egg. He tries a smile again but it's so fleeting it's barely even there. He closes her fingers around it and then leaves. She watches after him wondering how he's managed to take her heart with him. Again.

**-StB-**

_I'm writing this to you because I owe you that much._

She notices it's not addressed to her and instantly thinks this could have been written to anyone (that is until she skims down and sees her name in black and white. She imagines him chuckle as she pictures his raised eyebrow and that's when she knows she's still infatuated with him. Because he's not even there. She's just a cynic – with good reason - and he knows it.) The real reason however, is that he found 'Dear Rachel' too distant and a term of love or affection just didn't sit right on his tongue. So he went without. He was Jesse St James – he did what he liked.

_If you're planning to screw this up, at least read it first. Because that way, it'll be like erasing the entire thing. Not reading this will only serve to play on your mind and then you'll never know what I had to say. The reason I so willingly hurt you was because I needed to feel hurt myself. Call it what you will but I had my reasons. But don't you see what that means? It just proves how much I'm into you, Rachel. You wounded my pride, something those boys who claim to love you don't know a thing about. Don't you see? What we have surpasses teenage crushes Rachel, what I feel for you is intense enough to make me write you this letter because I know you won't listen to me. And maybe I deserve that-_

Screw you, St James, you definitely deserve it. But she reads on, like he knows she would.

_But I would have loved for you to have placed at Regionals, Berry, I really would. Do you know why? Because then maybe people would have recognised you for what you are: a star. My star._

She's smart enough to know he's using his age to his advantage. Those extra years of studying, of writing, have given him a lyrical tilt which he puts to good use trying to woo her back. _Try harder, Jesse_ is all she thinks, but she doesn't put the letter down, not once. (Not even after reading it seven more times.)

_If you can't forgive me, please don't forget me. You'll only be hurting yourself if you do. And if you want to talk, well, you know where am I. And you know who I am, Rachel._

_I'm yours._

It's so clichéd and _so_ Jesse, and that's really her downfall. Because she was never really over him. Maybe she still isn't.


	3. Chapter 3

"Did you read it?" He takes a seat on the swing next to her, facing the opposite way, stretching his legs out as he waits for her reply.

"Yes." She contemplates lying but she fails to see what it would achieve.

"And?" He bates his breath and begins to wonder when he became so fixated on this sixteen year old beauty. He guesses it was the first time her heard her sing, _really_ heard her.

"It served its purpose, as did I for you."

"Rachel –"

"We're over Jesse. I have Finn and you have to live with what you've done. Now just leave me alone."

He's never going to leave her alone.

**-StB-**

The only way to make sure he has her attention is to get her on her own. So he catches her in her bedroom once more, knowing her possible escape routes are limited. He says nothing but merely strides towards her: he's going to get her to understand what he feels if it kills him. And if Finn finds out, it probably will.

"I-I'm not scared." She really is, but she won't show him. She's a _professional._ So even when his hand grabs her side, thumb nail digging in a little too tightly over her hip bone, she refuses him a reaction.

Even when he invades her space, his mouth hoveringly angrily just inches above hers, she gives him nothing.

"You won't do it," she breathes, almost daring him to because just for a second, she wants to feel alive, feel wanted. And of course he does do it, leaning in ever so slowly and when she moves her head up to meet his, he knows he's starting to get her back. Because now she's making the moves and he's not about to stop her. Why would he? This is exactly what he wants, and more.

He breaks off the kiss, leaving his hand tightly clutching at her hip. She's sure it's going to bruise, but she can barely think straight let alone straighten up her appearance. "Won't I?" He's far too self assured, so she decides to kiss him again because it's the only way she knows how to shock him. Shock him into silence. "I need you," he breathes and she lets go of his lips.

"Guess what, St James? I don't need you." She has the upper hand and she feels empowered. And to be empowered over Jesse St James is not a feeling anyone would want to relinquish.

"I think you do." He moves his lips to her ear and whispers the words into her ears like poison. Her breath chokes of its own accord and she feels his smirk emerge against her cheek. "Gotcha."

Her head shakes as she tries to tell him, tell herself, that this is wrong. She has Finn and she has friends and here she is, risking it all for the man who's already broken her heart once. And deep down, she's almost certain he's going to do it again. Whether he means to or not.

"Why are you even here?" She's almost angry –at him, at herself – and she just wants to know when life became so complicated.

"I wanted to put things right," he shrugs and finally releases her body and strolls around her room. There was a time he could have called this place his home.

"By coming onto me when you know full well I have a boyfriend? Jesse, that's not putting things right."

"I didn't force you to do anything, Berry." Rachel stumbles because she knows that's true. He didn't make her read the letter, he didn't make her kiss him twice.

"I think you should go." He obliges, silently, and leaves her sat in the middle of her bed with tears prickling at her eyes for reasons she can't comprehend. And when Finn calls round later, she mentally curses Jesse St James – she's never had to pretend to enjoy a kiss with Finn before.

"Rach?"

"Hmm?" She's a little preoccupied with the misplacing of a certain letter. A letter which, should Finn find it, could easily ruin her life. But then again, that's Jesse all over.

"Are you okay? It's just; you don't really seem into this. Or, well, into me."

"Just tired, you know?" And that's when her heart stops. Her bedroom door is ajar and Finn stands in front of it, but mere metres behind him, out on the landing, stands Jesse, brazen as ever.

Finn takes a seat on her bed and Rachel sits beside him, desperately wanting to take a look back to the landing to check she wasn't dreaming, but by doing that, she'll only serve to make Finn look and that's one thing she wants to avoid whatever the cost.

"Look, I know everything's been a little crazy, what with my mom and Kurt's dad, but I'm still here for you, Rach. And I know I'm not the best singer, or the best dancer and probably not the best boyfriend but I promise not to mess with your heart like that Jesse kid did. And I'm really, really sorry, but I've sort of got to go now."

She lets out a soft chuckle because this is why she loves Finn. He'll give her the most meaningful of speeches and without even taking a breath; he'll change the topic completely.

"Kurt's trying to ring me; I think it's important. He usually just leaves lipstick messages for me, so I'd better go." He kisses her awkwardly and then hugs her goodbye and she closes her eyes as he leaves her bedroom. If Jesse likes her at all, she hopes he'll stay hidden for all their sakes. He does, she realises, when several minutes have passed and no noise has erupted from outside her room. She breathes out softly and begins to believe that maybe it was a dream but then in he walks to remind her it's not.

"I hate you," she mutters closing her bedroom door behind him. It's not fully true, but she has nothing else she wants to say to him. That was too close and even if Finn isn't everything Jesse is, he doesn't deserve to have another stunt like that pulled on him.

"I love you," he replies simply but neither one was quite expecting him to say it. His cheeks turn a little bit red and she searches his face, waiting for the punch line.

"You don't even know what love is, Jesse. That's not something you can just learn, even at your prestigious UCLA." She's not sure is she's angry for him saying it, or angry he's at UCLA and not here, or just angry because she genuinely likes Finn but Jesse's managing to ruin even that.

"What, and you think you do? You an-and Finn, and your stupid little romance?" His words splutter because she's just not getting it. He shouldn't even be here, he should be at UCLA but he's risking it all for her. What's Finn risking, that's what Jesse wants to know. But he's pretty sure the answer is nothing.

And when her hand suddenly strikes his face, he knows he's touched a nerve. They stand in silence for a while, Rachel trying to covertly massage her hand, Jesse contemplating how best to resolve this, how best to get her back.

"You should just be thankful it wasn't an egg." She gives him a brief – albeit wearied – smile and then a rushed apology for hitting him. He accepts it graciously and knows he should apologise too, but he's not sorry – not really – for saying anything he has done because as far as he's concerned, it's all true. "Jesse, what are we doing here?"

"We are standing in broken silences, awaiting the loving embrace we both strongly desire." He manages to drag that smile out of her again and she pushes a hand against his chest to mock his playful words.

"You know what I mean." She sits on the end of her bed, legs crossed tightly underneath her. He follows suit and sits at the head of the bed, feet stretched out so his toes almost touch her. "You shouldn't even be here."

"Look, don't worry; I'll be gone before your dads get back."

"I don't mean in my room, Jesse, I mean you should be in LA. You're Jesse St James, destined for fame."

"And that's the problem. Sometimes, being Jesse St James is tiring, you know? Sometimes I just want to be Jesse, and when I'm with you I can just _be_ Jesse."

"The boy who would never hurt me, right?" He looks a little pained at her remembrance of his own, well-solicited words. But there's no venom behind her words: she's tired, tired of trying to choose, trying to find reasons why she's letting herself get back into this mess. Before he has chance to answer, the keys turn in the front door and the sound of her dads ascending the stairs shocks them both into movement. "You've got to get out of here," she hisses frantically, but the drop from her window is not one Jesse's willing to risk. So he slots in behind her door as Rachel opens it to her father, praying he doesn't notice the tiny beads of sweat collating on her forehead.

"You okay, Rachel?" Two beats pass as she nods, a manic grin on her face. "You look a little.. flushed."

"I was doing sit ups, you startled me." Jesse swears his heart can be heart vibrating against the wood of the door. He's not sure why he's so nervous but this makes him feel more alive than singing ever has.

"Well, if you're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, I promise."

"Alright then, dinner's at six."

Rachel presses the door shut and sees Jesse exhale a breath of pure relief. If she really wanted him out of her life, he's sure she would have told her dads he was here, so he can't help but thinking they're making progress.

"That was too close," she breathes, her hands resting daintily on her hips. But then it dawns on her. "They're not going to go out again until the morning. How are we going to get you out of here unnoticed? This is going to be harder than, harder than-" She tries to think of a musical scenario to best suit their problem but even they fail her massively.

"Or I could just stay?" He hesitates before saying it, but then decides there's not much she could do without alerting her dads. So he bites the bullet as says it, waiting with a soft smile for her reply.

"Stay? Here? No," she shakes her head, a look of worry painted across her features. Only this time, it wasn't because of her dads: the thought of sleeping in her bed with Jesse next to her was too much to handle. And truth be told, she wasn't sure she could trust him. But even more than that, she wasn't sure she could trust herself either. "You can sneak out when we have dinner."

It's a foiled plan and they both know it. She sighs, defeated, and sits back on her bed. He remains standing and as she casually glances at him, she finds him looking awfully awkward for the first time since he's met her. And he'll never know it, but that's what cinches her decision.

"You're going to have to stay, aren't you?"


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Again, thank you for the reviews and the alerts – the reviews are really helping me write because they're telling me what's wrong and what needs working on. So keep them up, they're great and really appreciated. Some of this is a tad clichéd – apologies – but these two are almost like an epic romance (as Jesse tells Rachel she deserves) so I guess it's kind of hard to miss all the clichés! Finn makes a brief appearance again and Jesse's a little absent, but he will be back before you know it, so don't you worry about that. And lastly, read, review and enjoy. _

She sighs her response but a flicker of a smile graces her face. His eyes lift to meet hers and he merely nods in acceptance of her idea. He makes himself at home on her bed and she almost laughs at how brazen this new Jesse seems. She knows this entire situation is so wrong but the excitement that's currently buzzing through her veins seems to say otherwise. A quick half an hour passes and she's called down for dinner, reluctantly leaving Jesse in her room. But if he knows what's good for him, he'll stay silent and won't move.

But given that he's trying to get back in a relationship with Rachel, who's already in a relationship with Finn, it's kind of clear Jesse doesn't know what's good for him. But he's determined to see this through, so he decides he's going to prove to Rachel that's he changed. Because he genuinely has, he just needs her to see it.

First off he writes her a note and leaves it under her pillow. _Rachel and Jesse. R and J. Romeo and Juliet? _

Next he takes off his ring and hides it amongst her jewellery. He doesn't want to attract attention to it, just leave a reminder for her that he's always going to be hers. His stomach growls a little and he begins to wish he'd asked Rachel to bring him back some food. But she's already dong enough for him and he's more than aware of that. He takes out a few of her song books and leaves little messages around some of: some are song suggestions, others memories of the two of them and some little stick drawings of a boy and girl who he leaves anonymous for dramatic effect. But before he can continue his line of thought, she bursts through the door and shuts it quickly behind her, chucking a bag of food on the bed as she listens intently for following footsteps. Jesse remains standing, as if he's been caught red handed but slowly moves back to the bed before Rachel notices he's been moving around her room. He wants her to find them, just not when he's around. He doesn't even contemplate the fact that Finn could find them when he's not around.

He stares at the bag of food – big enough for a week, not a night – and stifles a laugh.

"I thought you might be hungry," she informs him a little sheepishly and Jesse wishes she wouldn't do things like this because each time she does, he finds himself a little more in love with her. She still can't believe that she's letting Jesse St James stay the night in her bedroom. Even when they were together – whether it was real or not – the idea had scared her, and even though she knew there would not be any of _that _going on, being that close to someone else made her more than a little on edge. Plus, the fact still remained that he was the one who broke her heart, broke an egg and broke every promise he'd ever made. And that's only one reason why she's still not sure she trusts him.

He's lucky she's even being civil to him and he's knows it, so he's not going to push things, not tonight. No matter how much he longs to just have her fingers entwined with his, he's going to resist. Because they both know this is delicate ground they're venturing into and neither one wants to be the one to break it – even if she's still not sure she should spend any time around him.

A few hours pass, which they spend talking about their favourite musicals, comparing glee club assignments and she asks him what Shelby's like – or rather was like – as a coach (and as a person.) Because now Shelby's got baby Beth, Rachel kind of figures she can't find out the answers for herself. And eventually they hear her dads head to bed and their voices drop to hushed whispers as they lie beside one another on her bed, both flat on their backs looking up at her ceiling. It seems said ceiling can provide them with answers they can't bear to ask questions about.

"Look, I can probably sneak out quiet enough not to wake your dads," he tells her because tonight has gone so well so far and he doesn't want anything to ruin it.

"It would probably be safer if you stayed," she replies and he finds himself hoping that it's partly because she wants him here just as much as he wants to stay.

"Well, I'll sleep on the floor then," he announces and goes to move before an arm forces him back on the bed with a strength he was not prepared for. He swallows a laugh and sees a matched face of amusement as he comes face to face with Rachel.

"My floor's squeaky," she informs him but now even she can't tell whether that's wholly the truth or the small part of her that just wants to be near him. Truthfully, she'd like to sleep near anyone, but the fact that it's Jesse is more than agreeable with her. "Just lay flat and no touching."

She feels she should issue at least some rules given that Jesse likes to live by his own – rules that often end in (her) heartbreak – and not to mention the fact that she's still technically with Finn. She told him she'd be forever his, _faithfully._ Well she wasn't about to take love advice from Journey again, they'd obviously never met Jesse St James.

And with that, they lie side by side and gradually drift off, Jesse before Rachel. And just before she closes her eyes, she takes one last look at him as he rolls softly over to face her and she dares to tuck a stray curl behind his left ear, hoping he doesn't wake up because she'd be contradicting her own rules otherwise.

And when they wake up, both have done exactly that – his forehead is touching the back of her head and as she lies on her side, him spooned in behind her, his left arm rests on top of her body, his fingers entwined with those on her right hand, which she's draped back over her own body, just to be able to touch him. She awakes first and feeling his warm breath on the back of her neck sends tingles to her toes. And instead of pushing him away and removing herself from his touch, she finds herself moving just a little bit closer and closing her eyes, because moments like these are few and far between. And even if he breaks her heart again, she knows she'll use memories like this to put it back together.

**-StB-**

When she awakes the second time, he's already gone and she feels upset and angry and a little bit bitter. She's barely decided she trusts him and yet he's already making the rules up as he goes along. And even though he was the perfect gentleman all night, she never really knows what he's going to do next. And reluctantly, that's why she decides it's not going to work.

And her thoughts are only served to be confirmed when she hears and sees nothing of Jesse for the next two weeks. Fourteen days and there's no contact of any kind, and though she should be happy he's letting her get on with her life, she can't help but keep looking for him, on every street corner and every park and coffee shop.

And sometimes, she even dares to think he'll be standing in her bedroom when she comes home from school but he never is, and she supposes she'll just have to accept the fact that this was just another of one of his twisted games he indulges in far too often.

**-StB-**

"So are you really done with Jesse?" Finn's back in her life and back in her bedroom and she knows she should be happy – ecstatic even – but something's holding her back.

"O-of course I am. Why would you think that?" He knows, she thinks to herself, somehow, Finn knows. She swallows hard and forces a smile, but Finn doesn't even notice her efforts.

"Well he's written a message in your book."

"He has? Oh that? That's from way back." Rachel's torn between wanting to read the message and see if there are any more – because that might just explain his unexplained absence – but she needs to reassure Finn that nothing's going on, because she can't keep replying on Jesse to make her happy. Sometimes, you just have to settle.

"We used this book a couple of weeks ago Rach, and this wasn't there."

"Sure it was," Rachel grins manically again, but Finn looks more scared than reassured. "I haven't seen Jesse in ages." It's not really a lie: she hasn't seen him in what feels like ages and Finn needn't know the exact dates anyway. "He's at UCLA, Finn, probably hooking up with girls stupid enough to believe his lyrical lies and counterfeit charm."

The way she insults his memory does enough to reassure Finn and he walks over and embraces her tightly, and it breaks her heart. Because Finn really is one of the good guys – yes, he's made mistakes but he's always genuinely sorry for them. So to be playing him off against Jesse is not fair and she's more than painfully aware of it. So that makes her up mind: she's going to end things with Jesse.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: One, I had no idea if a beach would be anywhere near where Rachel lives, but for the purpose of this story, one very nice sandy one exists. Two, for the record, Jesse was excluded from a primary school (I don't know what the American equivalent is?) for disruptive behaviour. Yeah, he was always a bit of a devil-child (sorry, Jesse.) Finally, I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think :)_

It turns out ending things, without the person you want to end it with being around, is harder than anticipated. And if it's possible, it's made even more difficult when Rachel submits to her curiosity and finds herself reading the messages Jesse's left for her. She already has the one from under her pillow stowed away somewhere where only she can access it, and his ring – which she found several days later – stays mostly in her bedside table, except on days when she finds herself missing him and she slips it on and off all of her fingers and rolls it around her palms.

But she's made her mind up – she can't keep her entire life on hold for someone who seems to be little more than a dream now. He slips in and out of her life as if he can just step in and out of her consciousness and call her high maintenance, but she needs more than that. And maybe, just maybe, Finn can offer her that. And even if he can't, at least he's constant and consistent whereas Jesse is all romance and danger and so unpredictable.

So when Jesse turns up in their choir room after practice, Rachel's knocked off her feet and her plan to end things is knocked out of her head. It feels like she hasn't seen him in so long and she finds herself staring, just trying to take him in and commit his image to her memory so that the next time he (undoubtedly) disappears, she'll at least be able to remember him. She's so focused on staring at Jesse as he slowly walks towards her, she doesn't notice Mr Schuester hovering in the doorway, a look of concern painted on his ageing features. Rachel's aware she needs to say something, tell Jesse that he can't keep playing these games with her any more but instead she stands like a mute, in awe of the boy who's stolen her heart (again.)

She swallows hard as he closes the distance between them even more and she can't help herself when she lifts her right hand and trails her forefinger down his clothed chest, lightly resting against his heart, just to make sure he's real, that _this_ is real. But then she remembers what she's been planning to do and she quickly drops her hand and takes a step back.

"You need to go back to UCLA, Jesse. Your life is there and mine is here and-"

"Never the twain shall meet?" He steps towards her again and watches her eyes go slightly crossed as she attempts to keep contact with his. She blinks and refocuses and in that short space of time he's lowered his lips to hers. But as soon as she realises what he's doing, she's pushing him away, hard.

"Jesse, no. We're not doing this."

"Why not?" It's masked innocence and feigned sorrow but he loves their banter as much as anything else in their relationship and hopes she'll play along.

"Do I really need to answer that?" It appears that yes, she does. "You corrupted my heart, tried to destroy my glee club, chose my mother over me, then chose your teammates over me, threw eggs at my head, humiliated us at regionals and now you're trying to ruin me and Finn." It's a tidy little list, one that he realises she's obviously keeping a count of.

"No," he replies softly, "I'm not. I'm not trying to ruin you and Finn. I'm trying to save you and me."

"Jesse, there never really was you and me." It pains her terribly to admit it and the memories of waking up next to him and the way he kisses her choose this moment to muddle her mind, and tell her that there will always been the two of them, no matter how hard she tries to deny it. But this has to end sooner or later, and sooner is better for the both of them.

"Meet me a week today and I'll prove to you there is." And then he's walking out on her again, Mr Schuester carefully dodging out the way as to remain unnoticed. Jesse pulled a fast one on him before and he'll be damned to let him do it again. Jesse, however, has other things on his mind: he has one week to prove to Rachel that he's the one who's right for her. One week and counting.

**-StB-**

"Finn, I think we should talk." It's taken her three days to build up the courage to tell him and the minute she does, he blows her off.

"Yeah, we'll talk later Rach, I'll see you at your house at, say, seven?"

"Yeah, sure, why not." He doesn't even notice the deflation in her voice or the way she sighs overtly and then rolls her eyes. Life shouldn't be this hard.

"Rachel? A word, if you don't mind." It's Mr Schuester who wants her attention now, and she pushes all thoughts of Finn and Jesse far from her mind.

"Yes, Mr Schue?" She really should start to get worried at how easily she can plaster on a false smile these days.

"Listen, you're young and free and I totally get that, but Rachel, can you really trust Jesse?"

She's far from prepared to have a talk with Mr Schuester about Jesse of all people. So when she hears his name, the little gasp she emits gives her away and that's before she blushes a deep red and clears her throat three times before replying.

"Jesse? Isn't he in LA, or something?"

"Rachel, you and I both know Jesse is back here, goodness knows why, but I suspect it has something to do with you."

"Jesse's not back from LA," Rachel informs him confidently because, in truth, he's not. He's visiting, if one could call it that, and there's a difference.

"Well, I saw him, Rachel, the other night. In here. With you."

"Are you sure it wasn't-"

"I think I'd recognise Jesse in my own choir room, Rachel." In other ways, he's not a fool. Rachel leans against the piano – this week was getting progressively worse by the second. "Look, I'm not trying to be a boring old timer, I just-"

"I know, Mr Schue."

"I don't think you do, Rachel. Jesse, as fantastic as he is, is not like you. He's not sensitive and emotional and caring. He's determined and he will do anything he has to, to get where he wants to be." She wants to protest because he does have a caring side, at least when he's with her. But then he's an actor and the doubts about his genuineness come back to haunt her. Could it be she's being taken for a ride, _again_? Mr Schuester sighs and places a fatherly hand on her shoulder. "I just want you to be careful, Rachel. Just be sure you know what you're getting yourself into."

"I will, Mr Schue." She goes to say thank you, but truthfully she could have done without the talk. Because now she's having doubts about telling Finn, about seeing Jesse and about pretty much everything in her life.

So when Jesse's week is up and this is the day she'll meet him, she realises this is it.

"Finn? It's Rachel. I guess you're out at the moment, so I'll keep this short. I'm going to meet Jesse today and I don't know what that means for us. I don't know what that means for me and you either. I just thought you should know." She hesitates, feeling that her message is a little blunt and to the point, and Finn has been more than the perfect gentleman and she feels like she's serving him a major disservice. "Thank you, for _everything_ and I'm sorry."

She ends the call, stuffs the phone in her bag and begins the walk to the bench where they agreed to meet. And when she gets there and Jesse's nowhere to be seen, she can't help but feel like she's made the biggest mistake of her life. But then he turns up, seven minutes late and a little flustered but he's here and her stomach knots itself when he finally stops in front of her.

"I thought you weren't coming," she manages to whisper, so fast that he barely catches a word of what she says. But eventually it registers and after catching his breath, he gives her his reply.

"And let you give up on us?" And that's her choice: give up or give in. And either one is going to have its consequences, for everyone involved. "The first time I brought you here was our third date."

"It was hardly a date," she reminds him. All their dates were fabricated from the start and the blurring between fiction and reality is only serving to confuse her further. He takes both her hands in his and grips onto them so tightly as if by letting them go, he'll somehow let go of life itself and it's scaring her how intently he's looking into her eyes.

"Is it that hard for you forget?" It pains him that they can't get past this; that they'll never get past it.

"Is it that easy for you not to remember?"

"Does Finn know you're here?" He's cleverly changing the subject but she doesn't begrudge him doing so, so nods fervently. He visibly relaxes at the knowledge and she begins to see a bit more humanity in him, as if he feels less guilty knowing Finn's aware what is going on. It still doesn't sit terribly well with her but she takes a seat on the bench anyway and watches as he does the same.

"Finn told me he loved me." She's not sure if she's told Jesse already, but she it's been weighing her down for weeks because she still hasn't told Finn that she loves him back (and probably never will now, not after he hear that message.) Jesse's too preoccupied with the fact that he too told Rachel he loved her, just moments after she declared her (mock) hatred for him. "At regionals." Now Jesse's listening. "And I still haven't said it back."

Suddenly, her not replying feels a little better, given that it's been even longer for Finn. And if Finn is experiencing any of the feelings Jesse has been while awaiting those three little words, with the added 'too' on the end, Jesse can't help but feel a little sorry for the guy. But a little better about himself too – it's clear it is not so much himself that Rachel's opposed to.

"Are you going to?" He needs to know, and she can tell by the way his fingers just slightly curl under and his knuckles fade in colour that he's not fully prepared to hear her answer (because he already thinks he knows what she's going to say.)

"I don't know." It's honest and open and her eyes drop to the ground as a little bit more guilt consumes her. He waits a couple of beats and then asks the question he has to no know.

"Do you love him?"

"Jesse, if talking about Finn is your plan to prove to me that we had something, I think we can both feel safe in the knowledge that your plan has failed."

"I haven't finished yet." And with that he takes her hand and starts running, Rachel trailing after him in a state of delirious confusion. They run straight for fifteen or so minutes, till they reach the coastline and a hut Rachel's never seen before. It stands near the edge of a cliff and they can hear the way the wind rattles in-between the wooden exterior. He takes her inside and there's a wicker table laid out for two and a bottle of what Rachel suspects is wine in a bucket of ice. "The first time I came here was when I was seven. I was staying with my uncle for the summer break and sometimes, I just needed to get away. Clear my head, settle my thoughts and just sing. It took me days to find somewhere as hidden as this but it was worth the wait."

It's bigger than she thought it was going to be, upon viewing it from the outside, and it has a distinct smell of dried wood and burnt out matches. It's a little chilly but she's already spied the box of blankets in the corner: it seems Jesse really has thought of everything.

"So then every time I got sent to my uncles: when my parents wanted a holiday, when I got excluded from school, I'd come here. It was like my little place, a place that no-one else knew about. I staked it out each time I came, just to make sure no-one else used it-"

"And bought a padlock and key to keep it that way?" He can hear the smile before he looks up to see it gracing her features and the way her cheeks bones become that touch more prominent, and the way she gets just the smallest dimple on her cheeks makes his heart flutter so loud he's finally glad to hear the roar of the sea. She hands him the padlock and he locks the two of them in, his boyish grin still evident from the childhood memories he has stored in this place.

"That's the genius behind it: I can lock it from the inside _and_ the out. It's a little selfish, perhaps, but this is mine." And that's when she begins the long road to understanding what Jesse's all about. He has an insatiable need to have his own things, to want things that are solely his because growing up, his parents didn't want _him_. "I've never shown anyone this before," he informs her, a touch of embarrassment glazing his cheeks.

"I can see why," she breaths in reply, wandering around it slowly, noticing more and more things that are undeniably Jesse. A few photos are scattered on the floor in the corner, and she spies one of Shelby – her mother – with her arms wrapped around Jesse in a tight embrace. It chokes her that he's able to do that with her mum and the most she can do is look at her from afar. But that ship has sailed and Rachel knows there's no point in hanging on, not anymore. There's a stack of programmes from shows he's seen and calendar from two years ago, with the days counting down until his birthday. There's a mirror – of course there's a mirror, this is Jesse St James. If you won't appreciate him, he'll just go on and appreciate himself – but what sparks most interest to Rachel is the gold star drawn on the bottom right hand corner, with a sequence of numbers beneath it. The numbers look fairly familiar and just as she realises what they stand for, he clears his throat, offers her a beanbag and gestures for her to sit, handing her a glass of wine as she does so.

"Jesse, I'm technically underage to be drinking this and well-" She pauses, unable to think of any other reasons as to why she can't just accept anything he does for her, so presses her lips together and takes a sip. And then two more, just for safe measure. Her eyes flicker back to the mirror, just quickly and he feels his cheeks burn: why it didn't occur to him to remove that is puzzling him greatly. Because it's pretty clear from her eyes that she knows what the numbers are now. The first set are her date of the birth; the second the first day they met; the third the night she (almost) gave herself to him and the last, the date of regionals. The last time he thought he'd see her, she guesses. She tries to tear her eyes away from the mirror but it's suddenly so very difficult to look him in the eye, and she finds herself searching every corner of the hut just to avoid looking at him. Because when it's just the two of them and there's no-one else around, he seems so much more present than usual, so over-powering that she can't even breathe without breathing him in.

"More wine?" His mouth curves to the side slightly and an eyebrow raises as Rachel finishes her current glass, her cheeks a little red from the fast consumption.

"I'm good, thanks." Jesse acknowledges her wishes and hands her a plate.

"I meant to do us dinner, only I got a little delayed coming over from LA and well –" He's a little sheepish as he brings out a packet of prawn crackers. "These were all I could get on my way over."

Rachel eyes him warily and for the first time, sees Jesse looking incredibly tired. "Look Jesse, why don't we continue this tomorrow, you look exhausted and I'm pretty tired too."

He shakes his head and gets to his feet, taking her hand and leading the out the hut, taking his padlock and key with him to lock it once they're out. "Private, you see?" It's an odd statement but she aligns it to his tiredness and thinks little more of it. Gripping to her hand tightly, they begin a precarious route down the shore of the beach and the wind's picked up since they set out, running circles around their bodies and sending chills to their toes. She's somehow missed it, but the sun has set and a darkness fills the sky above them. The sea's calmer now, lapping at the sand just metres from their feet and the waves sound so very therapeutic as they sit side by side on the sand, their fingers only just touching between them.

"I could lie here forever," he informs her quietly, as he lies on his back, hands joined behind his head. She rolls onto her front and lifts herself to her forearms, looking down at the boy who she thought had it all. His eyes are closed and his breathing slow and regular, and it dawns on her that maybe UCLA is not all it's cracked up to be. That he'd much rather be here, forever living in his hut and watching the tide flow in and out. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on her behalf – she can't ever be sure. She goes to reply, but her teeth begin to chatter instead and he sits up, beckoning for Rachel to do the same. They sit opposite one another with legs crossed and he rubs both of her hands in between his. Eventually he stops rubbing and just holds her hands in the middle of his, dragging his fingernails up and down tantalisingly slowly. And from the ways her eyes catch and flutter close, he knows he's on the right track.

But they both know this night must end and if he wants any more nights spent with Rachel, he's more than aware that he's going to have to get her back home on time. Only this time, it's Rachel who's reluctant to go back, standing in front of the sea for as long she can, before following Jesse back to his hut. They collect their belongings and he brings a blanket just in case – it's a fairly long walk back and the last thing he wants to do is bring a blue-lipped Rachel back to her dads. She's grateful for it twenty minutes into the journey, when the wind picks up two notches and she feels the blanket draped over her shoulders. Truth be told, she'd have been just as happy to have his arm draped over her shoulders so she could turn her body into his and let his heart reverberate through her body. But he's working on winning her back, not just winning her over and she owes it to him to let him try. She can hear Mercedes' cynical tone already: _Girl, you don't owe him anything, he played you and he played you well. He's the one that owes you._ But Rachel is acutely aware that both herself and Jesse have made mistakes and it appears he's forgiven her, so she feels obliged to do the same for him.

When they turn up at the Berry household, Rachel hovers slightly as Jesse advances towards the door. She hands him back the blanket and squeezes his hand before searching for her key and hoping her dads are otherwise engaged.

They're not, she discovers, when they open the door for her, stony faced and silent. "You're late."

"Only by ten minutes," she tries to keep her voice normal and chipper but she struggles to swallow and feels Jesse stir awkwardly behind her. "It was a longer walk than we'd anticipated, but I'm home now."

One parent sighs and goes inside; apparently to answer the phone as Rachel and Jesse begin to overhear another conversation. The atmosphere is awkward and Rachel turns to Jesse and mouths an apology.

"Thank you for walking me home, Jesse." The last word slips out before she can even think about what she's saying. But it quickly dawns on Jesse from the horror in her eyes that she's done something she shouldn't have. She winces as she turns round to face the remaining father and it's no longer anger written across his face, but worry and concern.

"You're Jesse?" He bypasses Rachel and looks straight at Jesse, who nods and wipes a stray bead of sweat from the side of his face. "Jesse St James? The boy who-"

"Yes, daddy, that's him." She very rarely cuts her dad up and she bobbles on the spot nervously, just wanting to take this conversation inside and away from prying eyes. Throughout their first relationship, Rachel had taken care to keep Jesse and her fathers separate. At the time it was because Jesse was this new specimen of a man – someone she wanted to keep entirely to herself – but more than that, he was a senior and there was no way her dads would approve. But she had told them about him, shortly after his shock revelation that he was leaving McKinley and more painfully leaving her. To say that her fathers were opposed to Jesse (and all other males) after hearing this was the understatement of the year.

"Rachel, we thought you were out with Finn. You know we don't approve of lying in this household. When were you going to tell us that you were seeing Jesse again? And why, for that matter, are you seeing Jesse again?"

"Because sometimes I need someone to talk to who isn't in my glee club."

"That's what _we're_ here for, Rachel. We were the ones who helped you regain your strength after-" Rachel winces again, hoping her father doesn't crush Jesse too much. "After last time, but I'm not sure we will be so willing to do so again if you're going to actively put yourself back in that situation."

It's not quite a threat, but it's a veiled promise that she's on her own this time. She's old enough to make her own mistakes – her dads are perfectly aware of that – but they want to make it clear that they do not approve of this Jesse at all. Rachel sighs, nods and closes her eyes as Jesse places just the lightest hand on the small of her back to reassure her he's okay and that he hopes she is too.

"But thank you, Jesse, for walking Rachel home." Jesse takes that as his cue to leave and does so with a slight nod of his head and a swift walk up the street, blanket in his hands. Rachel rushes upstairs to watch him out of the window but he doesn't look round, not once. Her fathers sigh as they watch from the bottom of the stairs – there's nothing they can do for her now.

That night, Rachel eagerly awaits word from Jesse, but no such movement is made. So she takes a deep breath and makes the first move, sending him a text to what she hopes is still his number.

_I'll remember tonight forever. Thank you._

She tells herself not to expect a reply, but can't mask her disappointment when, come morning, there's still no word or reply.

**-StB-**

In fact, there's no word from Jesse for the three following weeks, and she almost loses hope that Jesse ever really changed. Her mood has been so interchangeable since Jesse's been coming back stealing moments of her life, that it's not surprising people have started to pick up on it.

"Mr Schue, have you spoken to Rachel lately?" It's Quinn who takes the initiative and talks to Mr Schuester because Finn's still reeling from the revelation that Jesse's back in Rachel's life, and he made it pretty clear to Rachel that if Jesse's in her life, he'll have to take a step out. And by giving her an ultimatum Finn discovered pretty quickly that she'd taken that to mean he'd given up on her. So he was too busy licking his own wounds to notice anything different about Rachel.

"Why d'you ask?" Quinn raises an eyebrow – it's pretty obvious why she's asking. Will clears his throat and smoothes down an eyebrow. "Maybe one of you should ask her, you know, check she's okay."

Quinn deadpans again and Will can tell he's fighting a losing battle. Eventually he concedes and informs Quinn he'll have a word but truthfully, he doesn't have to. It doesn't take a genius to work out that this is Jesse's doing. And he can't say he didn't warn her.

"Ah Rachel, nice of you to join us. Held up, were we?" He's trying to be light-hearted about the fact that she one, is late and two, is not herself at all. She merely strains an apologetic look and sits down.

"Sorry, Mr Schue." There's no explanation and Mercedes sighs loud enough for the next district to hear. "It won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't." He's trying to regain at least some authority over his class, but it's failing, miserably. They're all eager to hear what's really on her mind so Will finds himself with little other choice but to go and chat to Rachel. He beckons her up to the piano and tells the others to chat amongst themselves, but they talk in little more than hushed whisper, all trying to listen in to what's being said. "Rachel, I'm going to level with you here. You know my stance on your current, er, situation but I'm beginning to get very worried about you. You're coming late to rehearsals, you're barely saying a word once you get here-"

"Is my singing off, Mr Schue?"

"Well, no, but-"

"And I'm still contributing songs and choreography?"

"You are but Rachel-"

"Then you have nothing to worry about, I assure you. I'm just tired; things are a little fraught at home right now." She hopes he's clever enough to stop the interrogation there. He returns back to where the others are seated, Rachel just behind him, both trying to ignore the exasperated sighs emitting from the majority of the others. But they let it drop and gradually, as she comes to terms with the fact that Jesse's plan only served to prove that he was wrong, she gets back to her usual self and though the majority of New Directions are already getting annoyed at the things they used to dislike about Rachel before, they're all more than glad that she's back.

That is, until she gets a letter delivered to her during the middle of rehearsal and everyone – Mr Schue included – is intrigued to see who it's from. A key falls out, a small letter too, and she suddenly wants to read this on her own. But there's no chance as Puck picks up the key, examines it and passes it to Kurt who does the same. Santana reaches for the letter but Quinn gets there first and hands it to Rachel, who takes it hesitantly, unsure why Quinn's being so nice to her all of a sudden. But then it becomes clear: by being nice, Quinn hopes to discover what it is that's written in the note. Rachel unfolds it slowly and straight away she recognises the scrawny handwriting that has yet to be tamed.

_Rachel,_

_I'm sorry and I'm sure you know why. This key fits only one padlock and it's waiting for you._

_As am I._

There's no name at the bottom and Rachel's glad he's thought this through. She doesn't want to make it look like she's desperate for the key but once it finally gets back to her, she pockets it quickly and tries to act nonchalant.

"So who's it from?" Kurt never was good at hiding his enthusiasm. Rachel's careful to pick her words – Finn could easily identity it as Jesse, given Jesse's the sole reason her and Rachel broke up.

"Who's _your_ message from?" Rachel wants to die when she hears Santana's voice but then she realises it's not her who Santana's talking to: it's Kurt. And she has his phone in her hand. So it looks like Rachel's not the only one keeping secrets. But it appears they're all able to keep them for another day at least, as Will calls a premature end to the practice before this entire debacle gets completely out of hand.

Rachel takes her early freedom and runs with it, all the way to that little hut that she's placing so much pressure on. But when she gets there, it's empty and she feels herself deflate once more: it's becoming somewhat of a habit. The words of her fathers haunt her just slightly but then she realises that someone has most definitely been in here since the last time she came. And even though the note said he was waiting for her too, this is better than nothing (whatever this would turn out to be.)


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: So I've kind of made up my own musical called Sally Street for this chapter. It has no real reference or input to the chapter, but I didn't have the heart to criticise anyone in any real musicals, so apologies for the awful name choice and unimaginative musical title. Also, there's a moment in this where Jesse calls Rachel 'Miss Berry' and it still niggles me hugely, only writing Rachel sounded odd so I've left it as it is, but I fear it's very OOC. Just an extra pre-warning of OOC-ness. (Sorry!) Also, I know things didn't end particularly well between Shelby and Rachel in the series, but I don't care because I like the Shelby/Rachel story arc and as a result, Shelby makes a guest appearance if you like. Lastly, the amount of reviews and alerts and all that are really making me smile tremendously – you're all so kind and make a teenage girl very, very happy! So as always, read, review and enjoy :)_

_(Oh, and an added note: for those of you who are reading Leading the Way, I am trying my hardest to update it, only I'm suffering an extremely awkward bout of writer's block for it and keep writing words that are so unlike Rachel and Jesse, it's simply ridiculous. But I hope to get it done as soon as I can and apologies for the long wait.)_

**-StB-**

There are new blankets in the hut, accompanied with a box of food and a note informing Rachel to help herself. And though she tries not to get her hopes up, she decides she'll stay here as long as she possibly can, just in case he puts in an appearance. Which he does, several hours later.

"You're here." He almost laughs when he sees her because he's been picturing this moment for weeks. "I didn't think you would be, I-"

"I haven't got long." She says it like she's about to die and the way her lips fall makes him love her even more. He tries so hard to get away from UCLA whenever he can without jeopardising the future he's waited so long for, but it's never easy. And he can't help but feel his future somewhat pales in comparison if she's not in it and these are the decisions that keep him up, night after night.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." A lot of things are his fault, they're both aware of that, but that's in the past now. He's well and truly stolen her heart (again) and this time, she's fully aware of what she's getting herself into. No one else makes her feel as alive as Jesse does. She never quite knows what he's going to do next, so when he presses his lips to hers and she can feel how much he wants her, pulling herself away is the toughest movement she's ever had to do (and she's had to suffer days of Brittany's choreography – not everyone is as flexible as a cheerleader.)

"I'm only here for the weekend," he mutters as he embraces her tightly and the words only just manage to slip in between her hair to reach her ear. He feels her nod beside him and then she flees, running all the way back home because she can't be late, not again. The loss of contact after Rachel was so close makes Jesse feel more alone that ever. Even at UCLA, when he's surrounded by so many (wonderful, glorious) people, he still feels alone, estranged.

He sleeps in the hut that night, mainly because no one even knows he's not at UCLA (apart from Rachel, who can't sleep for knowing he's out there on his own.) It's not massively uncomfortable but it's not where he wishes to spend his nights (with Rachel.)

The sea serves to wake him up and he swears he can feel the moist sea air surrounding his face. But then he wakes up probably and realises it's human, and not sea, air on his face – Rachel's lying beside him, her face just inches from his.

"Is this a dream?" He asks groggily, not quite sure if it's making coherent sentences. Her laugh is quiet, understated and it brings a warm, sleepy smile to his face. If this is a dream, it's one of the more pleasant ones he's incurred. If it's reality, well, even better.

"Wake up and find out." Which he does, to discover Rachel really is sitting beside him, clutching her keys in her hands. When she's assured he's woken up enough to contribute decent enough replies to a conversation, she informs him they need to talk.

"But talking gets us nowhere," he complains, but he knew this moment would come eventually. He just thought he'd done enough to prevent it a little longer.

"This isn't getting us anywhere either, Jesse." For someone a great deal younger than him, Rachel often says the wisest of things. And Jesse respects her for that. "I'm getting ribbed by my friends, ostracised by my dads and you don't even want to know what my Rabbi's been telling me to do."

Jesse can guess – leave him the hell alone.

"But somehow," she continues, before letting him even reply. "I find myself returning to you time and time again. I finished with Finn – the boy who I dreamt about for months – and I'm potentially jeopardising any future career I have by missing glee club rehearsals and-"

"Why are you telling me this?" Jesse can't quite read her agenda.

"Because I want to know why I'm doing it."

"Come to UCLA with me." It's hardly the answer she was looking for and she embarks on a nervous chuckle before realising he's actually being serious. He blurts it out before really registering what it is he's asking of her, but he takes a second to think it through and decides it's the perfect thing to do.

"Jesse, what?"

"Come and stay with me, just for a few days, and then maybe you'll find out."

"Find out what?"

"Why is it you're doing what you're doing." It's a last minute attempt to stop her giving up on them because he's pretty sure that's where this conversation would have ended. It's crazy and spontaneous and everything young love should be.

"Jesse, this is crazy. I-I can't just drop everything and fly back with you! My dads will never go for it a-and I have glee club and-" She never finishes the sentence because Jesses places a firm hand on her neck and pulls her in for a kiss. He can feel her protest against his lips but it becomes too much of an effort and she relaxes, letting the dryness of his lips rub against the soft ones of hers. He releases her lips but keeps him hand on her neck and he can already see her weakening towards the idea. She closes her eyes as she thinks, muttering furiously to herself but eventually silence falls and she reopens her eyes. "If I come with you, we're going as friends. Nothing more. I'm going to have to plan this down to every fine, minute detail Jesse, and it isn't going to be easy."

"Life with you never is, Miss Berry."

She unwillingly lets a smile creep on her face and her heart flutter with excitement because this is something new, something risky (and the fact it's being done with Jesse isn't increasing her excitement. No, not at all.) She can't believe she's actually agreed to this but she's more than aware this is going to take expert planning and whole bunch of miracles to even start to pull this off. His grin is bigger than she's ever seen before, and the haunting images of their fraught conversations and messy break ups vanish from her mind completely.

They spend the entire day planning and preparing and Jesse's sure that deep down, Rachel's certain this is never going to happen. But he's going to make sure it does, he just hopes she follows through. They bypass lunch – she says her fathers go shopping on a Saturday, so she'll have a large dinner when she gets home to make up for it – and work through until evening, where she grudgingly leaves the hut and practically skips the entire journey home. She doesn't even bat an eyelid when one of the boys from her school squirts her with the hose and soaks her to her skin.

She's not quite sure how she's going to pitch this to her dads – or the kids at school – but she spends the whole of Sunday back in Jesse's hut (which he now calls their hut) thinking up numerous ways to even breach the subject. Eventually they decide she'll tell a few people at school, ask for their suggestions and take it from there. They embrace tightly on Sunday night because he's back to UCLA and he doesn't know when he can get away again. But there's a buzz living in both their stomachs as they part because maybe, just maybe, she'll be seeing him in UCLA before they know it.

**-StB-**

Will laughs when he sees Rachel primed and ready to go twenty two minutes before rehearsal even starts. "There is no middle ground with you, is there Rachel? You're either exceptionally early or running in late."

Rachel merely grins and shrugs, smoothing out the creases in her blue skirt as she awaits the others, who wander in through the door in groups of two and three. She contemplates talking to a few of them at a time, but decides it would be better to get it over and done with in one go.

"Mr Schue, before we start, I have an announcement to make."

"An announcement or an essay?" Puck ripples into subdued laughter but quickly stops when he evokes no reaction from Rachel. It's no fun if she's doesn't display a scathing stare or tap her foot.

"I just wanted to let you know there's a small possibility I may be taking a week's vacation sometime soon. I have to square it with my dads first, but I thought you should know. Mr Schue, you can send me anything I need to know and I'll keep in touch with-" She scans the room, trying to think who she'd actually keep in conversation with. "Whoever whilst I'm away."

"Off anywhere nice?" Tina asks before Finn has chance to.

"I'm just off visiting a friend. In LA." The smile never falters and her eyes stay perfectly in line with Puck, Quinn and Tina, and venture nowhere near Will or Finn.

"Anyone we know or-" Finn's trying to push it out of her but she expected as much and came prepared.

"No, it's someone my dads know." It's not exactly a lie – they do know Jesse. Not very well, admittedly, nor do they like him for that matter. "Anyway, I just thought you should know in advance. Mr Schue, back to you."

As she sits down, she can feel a smile daring to creep onto her face and through she tries to swallow it, her cheeks start to ache as she struggle to not let it show. She hasn't quite got the suggestions about how to breach this with her dads, but step one is now complete meaning she's one step closer to pulling this off; all she needs now is a miracle to complete it.

**-StB-**

_How is next weekend? _

It's four words that make his heart melt. Rachel Berry is coming to see him.

_It's perfect._

He contemplates adding 'like you' to the end of his message, but things are going to well for him to even contemplate jinxing it. She doesn't reply for a while – she's trying to win over her dads – so he waits all day, his phone never leaving his hand.

"But daddy, it's a trip of a lifetime. Ms Corcoran told us that hardly anyone gets to visit UCLA unless they have a certified scholarship pencilled in their name." Rachel's tactic of mentioning her mum seems to work. Her dads aren't aware of the reconciliation between the two of them and by wishing to keep it that way; they have no choice but to let her go.

"We'll be speaking with Ms Corcoran tomorrow, and you'll know by the end of the day." That gives Rachel less than seven hours to speak with Shelby and persuade _her_ to play along. It takes her over an hour to build up the courage to ring and when she answers, Rachel swears she'll never get used to calling someone 'mom'.

"Rachel? Is that you? Are you alright?" Rachel bites her tongue and closes her eyes. If she can't pull this off, everything else will have been for nothing.

"I'm fine, thank you. I just – I need a favour."

"Go on." Rachel swears she can hear a smile grow on Shelby's face. This is, Shelby comes to realise, what she always imagined being a mother would be like.

"I'm sort of visiting a friend of mine in LA and I may have told my fathers that as a fellow glee club coach, you organised a trip to UCLA for all regional entrants." Rachel swears Shelby must be able to hear her heart beat down the line.

"And you want me to reinforce this to your dads? Rachel Berry, this guy better be worth it." Shelby's smiling down the phone because she remembers what it was like to be young and romantic and so very willing to do mad stunts like this.

"I didn't say it was for a boy. I-it's not even for a boy, I'm visiting a friend-"

"Of course you are, sweetheart." Shelby's smirking, with an eyebrow raised and Rachel can tell Shelby's trying to not sound too amused. "Just tell me it's not Jesse."

"It's not Jesse?" Only the way Rachel repeats it makes it sound like a question, not an answer. She groans and palms her own forehead. "That was about as convincing as Angie Ropeheart in _Sally_ _Street_."

Shelby laughs down the phone and Rachel's sure it's the first time she's heard her mother laugh. It's an oddly refreshing sound and it brings a smile to her own lips.

"I'll do it, but only because it's you." Shelby has to hold the phone away from her ears as Rachel squeals in delight and then gushes her appreciation down the line. "Don't mention it, baby. Just be careful, alright? Jesse may be a lot of things, but he's no saint Rachel, no matter how much his name begs to differ."

Rachel can't listen for happiness and thanks Shelby again before putting down the phone and going to bed, despite it being seven in the evening. She quickly informs Jesse, trying to staying on the best side of their 'friend's only' agreement.

_I think they're going to go for it. _

She leaves it at that and climbs straight into bed. She daren't stay awake a moment longer because she's worried something will threaten all her well-made plans and she's not risking them for anything. She doesn't concentrate much during the day, willing the hours away so she can race home, get the answer she so longs for from her fathers and finally book the ticket. And when her fathers finally agree to let her go, Rachel swears life is going just a little bit too well.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: This sees a few OCs crop up from Jesse's UCLA life – hopefully they're nice enough and although they're not quite the soulless automatons in VA, they're driven and talented so I think they make fair enough friends. Also, the last line is possibly a little odd but it was inspired wholeheartedly by a Torchwood episode (Dead Man Walking – Ianto's line about getting redirected to Weight Watchers is just lush) so that's where that one came from. Additionally, I was watching Hell-o the other day to try and get some inspiration for this story and that's where the latter half of this chapter comes from. And I don't know how likely it is Jesse would have done what I've written he does, but this entire idea is fabricated anyway, so just roll with it. (I do.) But more than anything, read, review and enjoy! _

**-StB-**

The day arrives and she turns up at his bedroom door, suitcase in one hand, a pair of knee high socks in the other. He doesn't even question it, just pulls her in for a tight embrace and helps her into his room.

"First things first." He hands her a key and tells her to keep it safe no matter what. "You probably won't need it, but life out here's a little different to Lima."

He's telling her. She thought life at Carmel was bigger and brighter; that pales in comparison to the bright lights and long nights of LA. She takes the key, pockets it and takes a quick survey of the room as Jesse sorts out his hair. She quickly notices there's only one bed and he's made no effort to establish a secondary sleeping arrangement, but he gives her no time to protest for he swiftly takes her hand and whisks her down the hallway and across town to a dingy coffee shop with an underground bar beneath it.

He takes her straight over to a small group of friends and a small, platinum blonde instantly grins as she sees him. Rachel squirms out of Jesse's hand to let him greet his friend and makes an effort to keep her hands busy so Jesse can't hold them again.

"Jesse, back with us I see. You've been," the girl pauses, her bright red lips pulling to smirk as she selects the right words. "A little absent lately."

"Pfft, you don't know the half of it, girl. Y'all always leaving me, making me go to choir on my own." Solace – small, slim and black – raises an eyebrow but the large mouth taking up most of her face quickly curves into a smile.

"That's because you _own_ choir, Solace. What's the point in us even going?" The girl with the red lips – aptly named Ruby – nudges Solace back, who pops her collar and grins.

"I'm a soul sister, what can you do?" Her laugh is throaty and so very soulful and Rachel takes an instant liking to this girl. In fact, she takes an instant liking to most of the girls here because they're so alike to her, it's weird. Never before has she felt like she's fitted in (even if she is a good two or three years younger and so much less experienced in _all_ aspects of life.)

"Aren't you going to introduce us, Jess?" Ruby sidles up towards Jesse and Rachel and stands between the two of them, draping an arm over each one's shoulder.

"If you two would ever let me get a word in edgeways, I'd have done it hours ago." He winks at Solace, who purses her lips and tries to put on a sense of mock offence, but her eyes are too friendly and she has the worst poker face known to man. "This is Rachel Berry, my gi-"

"Friend, from Lima. I was in the area and Jesse suggested I come and visit." Rachel quickly corrects Jesse and smiles sweetly, avoiding Jesse's eyes under all circumstances.

"And do you sing?" Solace seems less interested in Rachel's relation to Jesse and more interested in what she can do.

"From what I've heard, not as well as you." Rachel grins and Solace decides that this could be the start of a fruitful friendship. Rachel knows her own worth (and if she's honest, she probably could take Solace easily) but this is a new chance: a week's trial run of life in LA and she's determined to make it work.

"I'm not going to blow my own trumpet, but I've got the best damn voice on this entire campus."

"Oh, I thought it was the _best damn voice_ this side of the Atlantic?" Jesse's a tease and Rachel notices how easily he converses with these people. The boy he was in Vocal Adrenaline seems a far cry from the man standing here.

"Whatever you say, Jess, what ever you say. But your boy here belts when he wants to." Solace informs Rachel but Rachel's more than aware of his singing talents. (She's very aware of all his talents, actually.)

"Yeah, when he actually turns up to classes." Ruby adds, elbowing him in the ribs. "Which you should really start to do if you want to pass this year, St James."

"And where would be the fun in that?" He catches Ruby in a headlock and ruffles her hair but she pulls out and tries drags him to the dance floor. He resists and informs her he'll join her a minute. He wants to get Rachel on her own to ask why the hell she won't introduce herself as his girlfriend. He knows she instigated a friend's only policy but did she really expect him to believe that was what she wanted? There are too many males around that will take one look at her innocence and begin to undress her with their eyes before she can even ask their names, and the only way to ward them off is to tell them that she's taken – by him. He goes to hold her hand but she pulls hers away and places them both on either side of her hips. Jesse's a little put out, but doesn't question it further: they can talk about it later. Because right now, he's here to dance and dance he's going to do.

He joins Ruby and they embark on a style of dance that Rachel can only describe as provocative. But she puts it down to revenge for her little girlfriend stunt earlier so thinks nothing more of it. She's not going to admit she's jealous of Jesse St James because that would mean admitting she feels something for him and she's already told him she doesn't. How can she, after he broke an egg on her head and her heart on the ground?

"So how do you know Jesse?" Solace is apparently not much of a dancer. Rachel doesn't blame her: dancing is not her favourite pastime either.

"We competed at high school, in different glee clubs. He was the male lead-

"No surprises there, then." Solace grins – she knows only too well that Jesse is destined for greatness.

"And I was the female lead in my glee club. And then by chance, we met at a music store-"

"And the rest is history?" Solace's throaty chuckle warms Rachel and she grins.

"Something like that." It's so much easier not to carry the extra baggage of what's passed between herself and Jesse. Over here, she can reinvent herself yet still be the Rachel Berry she's always been. Solace stares at Rachel for a moment and Rachel can feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. Most people at school barely even notice her, let alone stare at her (unless she's wearing a new fragrance of grape, in which case they stare a lot, and laugh too.)

"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking." Solace smiles with her whole face, not just her eyes, Rachel notices. "Younger than Jesse?"

"Is it that painfully obvious?" Rachel's hopes of fitting in here – even if it is just for a week – are already starting to dwindle.

"No, no." Solace is being kind – Rachel can tell by the growing grin on her face. "Listen, this is the type of place where no-one really cares who you are or how old you are. It's all about talent and if what Jesse says is true, girl you have nothing to worry about."

"Why? What did he say?" She's worrying even more now Solace has said that. Worrying so much that she doesn't notice Jesse attracting another handful of girls surrounding him on the dance floor. "Has he said a lot?"

"Rachel, he talks about you almost as much as he talks about himself." Solace laughs again – she seems to do it a lot, Rachel muses, and she wonders if more people at McKinley were more like Solace, maybe her school life wouldn't be so goddamn unbearable half the time. "Not to us, you understand. We may or may not listen in to his phone calls late at night."

She shrugs and then laughs again, loud enough to start attracting fond smiles from nearby people. "But who's he on the phone to?"

"His cousin, we _think_. But what does it matter? You'll get a chance to prove your worth soon enough." Solace winks and chuckles. "You around for long?"

"Sadly only a week." Rachel wishes it were more and that's not just because of Jesse (or so she keeps on telling herself.)

"Fleeting visit, huh? Shame. But your boy's not going to be here for long either."

"He's not?"

"Hell, no. He'll be out of here and straight to the big apple before you can say Broadway." Solace's laugh is becoming more and more animated as she lets herself loose in the party atmosphere. "Can't say I blame him. But I suggest you both make the most of it here. There's something, I don't know, edgy about LA. I like it."

Solace laughs again and Rachel laughs too, agreeing that LA is certainly different to Lima. Her laughter falls short however, when a group of highly groomed males select this moment to sidle up to Solace.

"If your laugh was any louder Solace, you'd hear it in Europe." One guy – Matthew – grins and drapes an arm around Solace's shoulder. Solace merely raises and eyebrow and shuffles away from the guys.

"I just don't see the point in being quiet. I'll be quiet when I'm dead." She's trying to be sassy but the males merely applaud her philosophy – it would appear they're abiding by the same guidelines.

"Nicely put." A second boy smirks and slips both hands around Solace's waist. "Now how about I put my-"

"Caleb, you stop that sentence right now. There are minors in this room." So much for not caring how old you are. Solace clamps her hands over both of Rachel's ears and Rachel feels incredibly uncomfortable as the five males turn their attention to her. Jesse's too busy dancing to even realise.

"I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Caleb. This is Matthew, Eric, Cole and Stuart."

Rachel's ears are finally released by Solace who keeps a protective stance beside Rachel. They guy closest to her – Caleb – extends his hand, which Rachel shakes until Caleb decides a kiss on her hand is a much more informal greeting. They're not exactly at a formal gathering and they're far from upper-class billionaires. They'll hit on anything that moves.

"You don't want to be doing that," Solace can't hide her amusement as she suggests Caleb quits whilst he's ahead. "No really. The kid's with St James."

"I can handle that miva." Caleb's reply comes thick and fast – they always do – but Rachel's not quite sure if Solace is hinting at more than Rachel's willing to let on. He's still got Rachel's hand in his, and he's taken to stroking the skin above her fingers. It's incredibly mesmerising and now she looks at it, his face is rather mesmerising too. "Does this little beauty have a name?"

Rachel nods, foolishly and Caleb just laughs, still not releasing her hand. It seems he works his magic through touch rather than talk.

"Care to inform me of it?" He's got a playful grin and large blue eyes and Rachel nods slowly again, before internally shaking herself out this trance she's found herself in and clears her throat as she retunes her body.

"It's Rachel. Rachel Berry."

"Rachel Berry." Caleb repeats the name as if he's testing it out on his teeth. Over the top of her head he can see Jesse starting to take interest, so he slowly lowers Rachel's hand and winks his farewell. "I think I can remember that."

And just as Jesse begins to approach them, Caleb and Cole embark on a loud, strained version of _Paparazzi_ before Jesse has chance to speak to them.

"What did they want?" He asks both Solace and Rachel without really addressing either of them. When neither answers, he takes his eyes off of the boys and turns to face the girls. "Rachel?"

"They were just introducing themselves, that's all." The smile on her face shouldn't feel as alien as it does because she's not hiding anything from he. In truth, that is all they did, though it's not quite the same greeting she gets from the boys are _her_ school.

"Right." Jesse doesn't say much for a while and it's clear he's trying to process a thousand thoughts per minute. "Solace, mind if we take off?"

"Be my guest. Berry, I'll see you around." Solace parts with wide grin and waves the two of them off, before turning her attention to Ruby, who's finally escaped the dance floor.

"I hope so," Rachel shouts back in reply as Jesse takes her hand and swiftly takes her back up onto the street. "I wouldn't have minded staying," she informs him but Jesse is too busy deciding which direction is best to take her. He eventually decides that they're going to make the most of this night and if it's answers she wants, it is answers Rachel is going to get. Just maybe not to the questions she's asking.

When they reach their destination, Jesse flips his ID and tugs Rachel inside. Her eyes are wide and rapid as she tries to take this new scene in. It's a party or a gathering or gigantic dance-fest: she can't quite tell which. But when he drags her to the edge of the floor, she's suddenly that sixteen year old girl who was too nervous to sing in a music store (and she's comfortable with singing. But dancing? In a room with hundreds of strangers? Nervous is not even close.)

"Jesse, I don't dance," she says firmly, folding her arms across her chest in tight formation. But the smirk gracing his eyes and mouth inform her he's not taking no for an answer. "Not like _that, _anyway." The people on the floor, in the floor, adorning the floor are mostly – for want of a better word – grinding. And Rachel Berry doesn't grind. Nor does she strut, bop or ripple. She executes fine lines and developpés and she does not want to lower her standards.

"Then I'll teach you." But it seems Jesse has other ideas. "Come on, what's the worst that could happen?"

He's enticing her second by second and she surrenders as he threads his fingers in between hers and leads her to the centre. She stands in front of him, her face a picture of awkwardness and even in the dim light, he can see the blush creeping onto her cheeks. He slowly spins her half a circle so her back is against his chest and he moves his left arm to the front of her left hip in order to close the gap between them. She feels his heart reverberate onto her back and the buckle of his belt digs into the bottom of her spine.

His hand momentarily leaves her hip and moves up to her shoulder, pushing it back towards his chest so that the next time he moves, she'll move with him as one conjoined entity. His hand goes back to her hip and as he arches his chest forwards and his hips back, her body has no choice but to comply. Her eyes immediately snap shut because she can't bear to see people watching her dance like this in a city she's only just discovered, with a boy she keeps telling herself she's over. And she knows she'll probably never see these people again but it doesn't help with her embarrassment.

"You just need to," he starts in one ear and then whispers into the other. "Loosen up a little."

The red on her cheeks burns a fiercer shade and she's eternally grateful he can't see her face. She swallows, hard, and then lifts her right arm above her head and lets her hand rest on the back of his neck. He drags his nails up and down the exposed skin on her upper arm and she quickly returns her arm to the side of her body, noting such a brazen act was a massive mistake. She feels him laugh behind her and he places her right arm back where it was, stroking it just as gently as before. Her knees buckle, just slightly, and the arm that was resting on her hips grabs her just a little bit tighter.

She swears if he doesn't stop with his ministrations, she's going to collapse altogether.

There's just the smallest strip of skin appearing where her skirt ends and top starts and with her right arm skewed above their heads, it's becoming gradually more and more exposed as the night wears on. She should feel incredibly self conscious only her mind is far too preoccupied with wondering where on earth Jesse learnt to dance in this way. The music over here is so different to what she's used to: no show tunes or beautiful ballads. It's young and heavy and so very sensuous. And it's everything Rachel Berry is not. Beads of sweat begin to form at the start of her hair line and she can heel the fabrics between their bodies beginning to fuse in the humid air. She's sure this is the closest she's ever been to Jesse and the way his breath strokes the side of her neck is beyond excruciating. His hand feels warm on her stomach and his fingers play with the edge of the garment before travelling underneath it, burning her skin with each and every feather-light touch. Her heart beats at a hundred beats per minute and just as she thinks she can't take any more, she feels a warm sensation building on the side of her neck and it takes her a while to realise it's Jesse's mouth.

So that's why she tears herself away from his touch and races to the exit, small enough to squeeze between the throngs of people gyrating and flexing in ways Rachel didn't think were possible. Running out is a mistake, Rachel quickly decides, when she discovers she has no idea where to go or what to do. She doesn't even remember why she came out to LA – all the lying, the deceiving, the plotting – was it really even worth it? She's not sure she knows. All she does know is she's glad she's got a key to his room (not that she can remember in what direction that would be. But at least she has a purpose, a target. She needs something to aim for – she's Rachel Berry, she's always aiming for something.)

Thankfully UCLA is signposted enough for her to find her way back but Jesse's already standing in the doorway, with his back against the frame. He merely raises an eyebrow as she catches her breath, the key in her hand surrounded by clammy hands. He's a little vexed after her performance earlier: no one's ever pulled away from Jesse before.

"You know, you have a frankly quite annoying habit of walking away when you can't handle things." It's not quite the welcome Rachel would have liked, but she's hurt his ego and Jesse's unlikely to take it lightly.

"Maybe it's just you I'm walking away from. Maybe it's you who's flawed Jesse; with your perfect hair and perfect voice and perfect eyes. You're not God, you know." She doesn't quite know where this feisty side of her has come from, but it's apparent Jesse likes it. He raises an eyebrow and tries to mask how surprised (and impressed) he is with her retort.

"No, I saw you walk away from Finn too." He's going to ignore her insults, mostly because he knows she doesn't even mean them. "That time you all sang 'Hello, Goodbye' which, by the way, was not your best. Those shoes were far from flattering and though your vocals were good, Santana even managed to upstage your performance."

"Well then maybe you should date her." She's a little put out because his arrogance is a little heavy and she doesn't know whether to be flattered that he was somewhat spying on her. Could it have been that he actually just wanted to see her? Or just another session for Shelby? And this is always where she falters because she truly doesn't know.

"I wasn't aware I was dating _you_. 'Friend's only', remember?" She can't deny he has a point. "And the way you walked straight off at the end? Totally unprofessional."

"For the record, I had just lied to every single person on that stage so that I could be in what I foolishly thought was a committed relationship with you. And guess what? They were right: Rachel got it wrong again. I've noticed that's something of a habit when I'm with you."

"So we were a mistake?" He's digging and testing and trying to get her to reveal what she really feels. He pushes off of the door frame and walks into his room. Rachel follows him in, closing the door behind her. She realises (a little too late) that's she just shut herself in a room with Jesse, with no means of easy escape.

"You tell me, Jesse." He didn't bank on this, having to let go of his ever-comfortable façade of Jesse St. James, the man who can.

"Why don't you ever let go of the past and just appreciate the fact that we might actually have a future? _Together_." He's not mad and he's not scathing: he's genuinely wondering why she finds it's so hard to imagine that they could be like any other teenage couple (though of course, they'd be one of the more talented and flawlessly groomed couples in the whole of the country.)

"I-"

"Because you're scared?"

"I'm not scared, Jesse I-"

"No?" He slides closer to her and though she tries not to tense, he feels her stiffen before him.

"Because you don't trust me?"

"Is it any wonder if I don't?" His eyes leave her because she has a point. "Think how many times you've lied to me, Jesse. You told me you would never hurt me, that you left Vocal Adrenaline for _me_."

"I did," he protests but Rachel does not look impressed. "You told me yourself you wanted to meet your mom. By leaving Vocal Adrenaline, I got closer to you and you got closer to Shelby."

"So she could reject me once she found me. Wow, Jesse, I'm so thankful you did all that." Jesse knows her sarcasm is only covering up the fact that she's had to give up so much this year and it hurts. He can tell from the bitterness in her voice and the way she refuses to look at him at all.

A silence falls because Jesse finds himself quite protective of both mother and daughter, and anything he says will insult the other. So he remains tight-lipped and waits for Rachel to speak, debating how long it is until she tells him those fateful words _I shouldn't have come out here._

"I do forgive you, you know." It's a very understated statement and considering Rachel's usually anything but, Jesse's a little wary. "It took me a long time to realise that we were both at fault and after forgiving myself, I thought it only right to forgive you too."

He flashes her the most genuine smile she's ever seen painted on his painfully beautiful features and it sets her heart aflutter. He's not going to add one his usually arrogant one-liners because this moment frankly doesn't need one. He's gained her forgiveness and if this trip ends with nothing else, Jesse can rest happy he's achieved something. (But of course, he's going to aim for more. This is Jesse St. James: he knows no bounds.)


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: So this is, in effect, the last chapter of this story mainly because I'm struggling to think where else I could end this and I don't want it to drag out so far that it becomes pointless drivel (on my behalf – Rachel and Jesse will never be pointless.) So expect a fairly long note here (apologies!)_

_This is going to spoil the end a little, but I feel I should say it's a tad rushed and though I've tried to re-write it and reshape it, it just hasn't happened. So I hope it's okay (or at least as okay as it can be.) _

_Also, I originally wasn't going to include my character Isla and instead have her as Idina Menzel but I decided to just make my own Broadway star because it felt weird writing someone real (if that makes any sense?) And I must apologise because there are possibly more than a few things that are not properly addressed in this final chapter but I hope that end conclusion helps to make up for it._

_Finally, thank you to everyone who's read this and an even bigger thank you to those who took the time to review! I hope this last chapter is okay and I hope you enjoy!_

**-StB-**

"Rachel, you pretending to be asleep on my floor is not going to help the situation." She breathes out a little too heavily in annoyance and gives herself away. He laughs and rolls her onto her back so he can see her face (which is scowling heavily with her brow furrowed and lips curved downwards.)

"Well, I don't see your ingenuity coming in to sort out this problem." Rachel had decided to feign sleep on the floor in the hope that Jesse would leave her there and that would be that.

"That's because there _is_ no problem; you take the bed, I'll take the floor."

"I am _not_ sleeping in your bed, Jesse." She couldn't look more indignant if she tried, even lying flat on the floor.

"Why, afraid you'll like it too much?" She gets to her feet at this, as if to cement the fact that she wouldn't like it at all.

"No, because I don't know what else has been in there." She eyes the bed with a face of utter disgust, as if it's sprouted wings and antennae and is making its way menacingly over to her. He raises an eyebrow with a sultry look and she quickly avoids his glance.

"Jealous, Rachel?"

"Hardly," she informs him not entirely convincingly before adding, "I just don't want to catch anything. I need my health to remain in pristine condition if we have any chance of taking the title this year."

He laughs – she's still as much as a drama queen as before – and takes both her hands in his. "You won't catch anything from my bed, Rachel."

The contact between them is a little bit charged and she's finally won round (but only after Jesse pointed out that sleep deprivation can be dangerous to the vocal chords and that the floor is likely to provide her with a restless night. She tips the question back to him but he assures her he can cope. _"Trust me Rachel, I've slept on worst places than my floor."_)

Rachel delves into her suitcase and is suddenly horrified to discover she has not packed the most flattering pair of pyjamas ever. They're pink, buttoned and adorned with sheep, and her face begins to match the fabric as she reluctantly takes them out and makes her way to his en-suite. When she emerges several minutes later after washing, dressing and drying, she finds her breath stolen just for a second as a shirtless Jesse is standing in front of the mirror, sliding an elasticised headband over his head to keep his hair off his face. He turns and grins at Rachel, whose child like legs are on show in the pair of pink pyjama shorts. The sight of all his hair scraped back off his face would usually bring a gentle smile to her face, but she can feel her cheeks burning at the sight of his bare chest. It's toned, she muses as she gently curls her fingers under so that her nails press ever so lightly into the palm of her hand, but not too muscular. She doesn't think she's ever seen so much of his skin all at one time and it's more than enough to send her pulse racing. She turns her attention to her suitcase and slots her toiletries back in it, but is disturbed by a sudden burst of loud knocking on Jesse's door.

Rachel jumps involuntarily and motions away from the door, standing the other side of his bed as Jesse strolls to open it, lazily unlocking the door and letting the door swing open.

"St. James! You cop out, why'd you bail on us." Rachel's astute enough to realise these boys are highly intoxicated. She recognises one as Caleb from earlier and instantly shies even further backwards. "Or did we have a better offer?" Caleb lands a playful punch on Jesse's upper arm and the group of boys behind him splutter into joyous cohorts.

Caleb enters further into the room and stumbles into Rachel's case which falls to the floor. He bends down and strokes the case softly, whispering heartfelt apologies to its nonexistent ear. He gets back to his feet and looks over to Rachel, who's wishing more and more that she'd packed a pair of less embarrassing pyjamas. When she'd picked them out, the thought that she'd have to be sharing Jesse's room hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Rachel Berry, right?" Caleb grins as she nods, her nails digging in harder to the palm of her hands. "Told you I'd remember."

"Maybe you'd care to remember where the door is, Caleb?" It's a playful threat – but a threat nonetheless – because Jesse can see Rachel's more than a little uncomfortable with the whole episode.

"Got you, big man. You want some privacy. We can do privacy, right boys?" Caleb's greeted with a loud chorus of responses and they leave Jesse's room in a large gaggle of voices, each once chanting various obscene phrases and peeling off into drunken laughter. Jesse smirks and re-closes his door; he's known Caleb for most of his time at UCLA and they have a unique type of relationship. Caleb's very much a ring leader, a voice to be listened to but Jesse's hardly a pushover. They work in different circles but they've been known to collaborate if it's going to benefit them both.

"Sorry about that," Jesse tells Rachel, though he has a tough job convincing Rachel he's in anyway apologetic about the episode at all. "Caleb's hardcore but he's laugh."

Rachel's not convinced and inspects her hands where eight little crescent shapes are embedded into her palms. Jesse was right when he told her LA's a life away from Lima.

"I think I'd like to go to sleep now," she informs Jesse, tying her hair back and hovering by his bed. "I'd still be happy to sleep on the flo-"

"Get in the bed, Rachel." Jesse's turned out the lights and has already made himself comfortable on the floor. Rachel sighs and reluctantly pulls back the corner of the duvet, slipping onto the bed lightly and letting her head touch the pillow. It smells distinctly of Jesse and she finds the warmth combined with his scent oddly comforting. She falls to sleep fairly quickly after the excitement of the night and the flight from earlier but Jesse's struggling to fall asleep knowing Rachel's mere metres above him. He'd like nothing more than to just lie beside her and watch her sleep but he values her friendship enough not to push her. She's been pushed and pulled in so many directions this year and he wants to be the one who she can rely on for neutrality; the one who loves her just for her. He's arrogant and self assured, but Jesse is far from stupid. He's messed this up once before; he's not about to do it again.

As she sleeps, her right arm falls out of the duvet and Jesse shifts so he's directly under her hand. He draws abstract little pictures on the palm of her hand, soft and light enough for her not to wake but merely to stir at the not too unpleasant feeling he's generating. He eventually drifts off some minutes later and sleeps peacefully for the first night in months. He'd like to say it wasn't to do with Rachel, but truthfully, he can't.

**-StB-**

Rachel's already up and dressed before Jesse even opens an eye and he momentarily forgets who on earth could be sat in the middle of his bed staring down at him.

"You're an early bird," Jesse half-groans, mustering all his (spent) energy trying to get off the floor. "I should have known."

He kicks his bed sheets closer to the bed and stretches his arms above his head, his pyjama bottoms slipping just an inch further down his hips. At the sight of his hip bones Rachel inwardly gasps and tries to cover it up with a tiny cough but Jesse's not awake enough to notice.

"Breakfast?" It's an invitation of sorts and Rachel's a little wired to see Jesse stroll out his bedroom without even thinking of putting on a top. Rachel hesitates on the bed until she hears a flurry of wolf whistles and quickly makes her way to follow Jesse, trying not to look too intrigued.

"St. James, someone's been working out!" Ruby chucks a loaf of bread in Jesse's direction, which he misses, terribly.

"Someone hasn't," he replies with a grin, poking Ruby in the stomach before getting batted away with the force of her hands. Rachel takes a seat at the table next to Solace who grins and greets Rachel warmly.

"You sleep okay, kid?" Rachel nods and the pair filters off into idle conversation and Jesse watches with interest as he discovers Rachel is most definitely the only person who could possibly be this animated this early in the morning. "Oi Jess, you headed to class this morning?"

Jesse rips the corner of his toast off a little too hard in response and promptly sprays Ruby with a face full of crumbs. Solace folds her arms and shakes her head, humming _Beauty School Dropout _under her breath. She starts to grin before embarking on her infamous laugh and Rachel's eye flit between the two of them.

"Solace, it's too early for that much volume." Ruby – a little hung-over – washes her hands and face after Jesse's toast incident and proceeds to flick water in Solace's direction. Rachel laughs, a little bemused but content all the same. This world is a lifetime away from her little world in Lima and she wants to remember everything. Jesse finishes his toast and looks to Rachel who grins.

"You should go," she tells him, a small feeling of excitement beginning to build within her. "I'll be fine; it's not like there's nothing to entertain me around here."

Jesse's agrees (reluctantly) though he'd much rather be joining Rachel on her tourist tour of the area. He's too restless, too energetic, too high on life to attend classes and be academic. He wants to perform night in and night out but Shelby convinced him he needed to have something else, a back up plan. And if Jesse learnt anything from Shelby, it's that she knows what she's talking about.

**-StB-**

"So, plans?" Ruby sits down at the table, pen in one hand, paper in the other. She's a bit over-organised but they three of them all embarked on this act together and Ruby does not want to make a fool of herself in a few months time. The Showcase is the perfect opportunity to get a taste of the life they all desire so badly and Ruby's determined to make theirs a success.

"Rachel and I are out." Rachel looks to Jesse in surprise – it's the first she's heard of it.

"What? Jesse, we _need_ to rehearse." Solace places both hands on her hips and purses her lips as she narrows her eyes.

"You might need to; I think we can safely say I'm rehearsed enough."

"Jesse!"

"I'm kidding," Jesse smirks, surrendering his hands, but Rachel knows there's probably some (arrogant) truth in it. "Look, we're only out for dinner and as soon as I'm back, I'm all yours."

"You'd better be, St. James." Solace can't for the life of her keep a straight face but Jesse nods because as much as he acts like he doesn't care, this is going to be big for all of them. And he will rehearse – only later, because right now he and Rachel have other plans. He ushers Rachel towards the door and waves to Ruby and Solace, before poking his head back around the door to add one last thing.

"Oh and Solace, you might want to work on that temper of yours. Try breathing slowly, in and out, in and ou-" He never manages to finish because a wet cloth comes flying in his direction (Solace has an excellent shot) and he runs back to catch up with Rachel, a smile growing on his face. She asks what they need to rehearse and he informs her it's for their end of year show, aptly named The Showcase. It's apparently a pretty big deal and even Caleb and the boys take it seriously. But Jesse tells her he's taking her out to get away from rehearsal talk (he's nicknamed Solace 'Miss Whiplash' for her demanding, yet self imposed, role as task manager) and he just wants a night off.

He takes her to a nearby restaurant that's nothing like she's ever seen before. Her mouth drops ajar and her eyes struggle to take it all in and if that wasn't bad enough, she's just spotted Isla Brunel, the Broadway star, seated at a table at the other side. Jesse shakes his head in silent laughter; only Rachel could ignore the diamonds in the ceiling and the glass chandeliers to notice a woman off of Broadway.

"Oh my god Jesse, that's Isla Brunel!" Rachel can't whisper to save her life and Jesse grins at Rachel's incredulous expression.

"You might want to shut your mouth Rach, you'll catch flies." Her cheeks burn in embarrassment and she quickly lets Jesse guide her to their table.

"This place must cost, well, a substantial amount of money Jesse." He laughs, because only Rachel could go from being in total awe of one of the biggest stars of the year to worrying about financial issues.

"It's my father's money," he shrugs, handing Rachel a menu, "Though I tend to only use it on special occasions. I can manage perfectly well by myself."

She notes the bitterness in his voice and decides to say nothing more about it. Jesse quickly forgets the animosity towards his father as he catches Rachel peering over the top of her menu to steal a glance at Isla.

"Would you rather be on a date with her? Because I can leave the two of you alone if you'd prefer." This earns Jesse a sharp kick under the table but he merely laughs and raises an eyebrow. "A feisty Miss Berry? Well, this is new."

Rachel rolls her eyes and informs Jesse she's popping to the ladies. As she goes, her bag falls off her shoulder but Rachel doesn't notice. As she comes back out – after restyling her hair and smoothing out her eyebrows - Rachel's stunned to silence when Isla's standing in front of her.

"Are you Rachel Berry?" It's the simplest of questions but Rachel's usual ability to talk for America seems to have vanished.

"How – well, yes."

"I thought so," Isla smiles and Rachel notices she's much prettier in real life than in the magazines. "Your bag kind of matches that angora sweater you're rocking. Nice thinking, sewing your name in the bag."

"Thank you," Rachel gushes but Isla just grins.

"Who are you here with? The cute guy at table 7?" Isla steals a glance over her shoulder at Jesse, who's oblivious to the entire conversation, checking his phone with a smile on his face.

"Is he cute? I hadn't noticed," Rachel too glances at Jesse and then looks straight back to Isla. Letting herself linger would give the wrong impression entirely and although she hopes to be rubbing shoulders with the stars in the future, she wants to cherish this moment too, just in case it doesn't happen.

"Oh sweetheart, is he gay?"

"No! No, no, he's not gay."

"Then he's cute," Isla informs Rachel, handing over her bag. "Though I'd maybe refrain from telling him that, some guys could work on their modesty."

"I couldn't agree more," Rachel grins and Isla laughs in response, and Rachel notices that even her teeth are perfectly aligned. "Thanks again, you know, for the bag and everything."

"Anytime sweet, enjoy your meal." With that, Isla enters the loos and Rachel heads back to Jesse, who smiles as he sees her.

"You took your time," he informs her but there's a smile behind his words.

"Jesse, you will _never_ guess who I was just talking to!" Jesse listens intently as Rachel relays the entire story back to him and Jesse just knows that in the future, there will be some other teenage girl experiencing the same enjoyment Rachel is now, but from talking to Rachel Berry herself: the future Broadway beauty. And he hopes, deep down, that he'll be stood beside her.

They eat, Jesse pays and eventually they head back to UCLA because although he'd protest otherwise, Jesse does need to rehearse. Rachel takes straight to bed, calling first her fathers, then Kurt and finally Tina. The two share her excitement for Isla and whilst Kurt wants to visage Isla's outfit, Tina's more interested in what she had to say. Rachel goes into deep detail for both before her speech is plagued with yawns and she eventually decides it's time for bed. Jesse takes his place on the floor some hours later and though he accidentally knocks her case over in the same manner as Caleb did, she's too exhausted to even stir.

**-StB-**

In the morning, she's first awake again but she's content just to lie there. She scoots to the end of her bed and leans over the edge to watch Jesse as he sleeps. His arms lay above his head and Rachel can see his chest rise and fall as he sleeps deeply. As she smiles to herself, remembering that meeting Isla Brunel wasn't a dream, Rachel momentarily loses all balance and falls straight out of her bed and lands on top of Jesse with a thud. Jesse awakes with a start as Rachel gingerly rolls off of him but remains on the floor, rubbing her elbow. Most of her fall was cushioned by Jesse himself, but she caught her elbow on her way down and it's already starting to show up red.

"I know you want answers Rachel," Jesse begins, a little quieter than usual because Rachel's fall has knocked the wind straight out of him. "But I don't think the floor is the place to find them."

Rachel's quiet as Jesse adjusts himself beside her and recloses his eyes. She'd forgotten, in the midst of all the excitement of her trip, the main reason she came out. She came because she thought it would push her one way or the other, because making that decision alone is getting her nowhere. But all it's done is complicate things more (and Rachel didn't even think that was possible.)

"So, have you found them?" Jesse's finally comfortable and is ignoring the growing feeling in the pit of his stomach at how close Rachel lies to him now. Her hair is wild and spread over the floor and his left arm and each time she shifts, it tickles him more.

"Found what?" Rachel's too deep in thought to respond properly but Jesse just laughs and opens his eyes, staring up as his ceiling which is adorned with pictures pinned with gold pins.

"Your answers," he replies as Rachel extends her legs fully and lies flat on her back, her hands behind her head and her eyes tightly shut. What she's about to say is going to be hard enough without looking into the devilishly expressive eyes of his.

"You haven't really given me much time for thinking. Or asking for that matter." He supposes she's right and he guesses that he's unconsciously done so because secretly, he's scared of what conclusions she'll come to. Rachel sighs and Jesse knows it's a hint for him to ask her what's wrong. But Jesse dislikes bowing to anyone's commands (even Rachel Berry's) and so waits for her to sigh again, in a much more dramatic fashion, before asking.

"You're sighing, which means one of two things. One, you have asthma or two, you want me to ask you what's wrong. And since I don't see a pump.."

"Jesse, everything here is you and it works so effortlessly. I've never had that, you know? I have to want and work for everything. Don't you think that shows you don't belong back home, with.. me? And although I'm really glad you brought me out here, I think there is substantial evidence that we cannot be together."

He's going to ignore her last sentence because they can quite easily 'be together' if she would just accept the fact he actually likes her. "I don't, no."

And then he rolls to his side and lowers his lips to hers, taking his chances whilst her eyes remain closed. Her lips are already open a little bit so he takes the initiative and decides to give her a little bit of evidence to support the opposing case: they _can_ be together. He releases her lips but remains on his side, watching to see her reaction. Her eyes remain shut but a smile meddles with her lips as she speaks.

"I think we're going to need to ask the jury to reconvene," she informs him and he grins too because maybe – just maybe – he's starting to win her over.

**-StB-**

The rest of the week goes too fast and Ruby, Solace, Rachel and Jesse become nigh on inseparable. They venture to the beach, the karaoke club and Rachel even attends one of Jesse's classes (singing, naturally, and Solace finally gets to see what Rachel's made of. She's impressed and Rachel can't hide how proud she feels to be getting recognition from someone like Solace. It almost makes up for all the times Kurt told her she was replaceable because Solace's words don't make her feel like she's up against the world and it's neighbour – they make her feel like it's matter of when, not if.) Rachel and Jesse spend many a night talking late into the midnight blue and though it's not quite a relationship, it's definitely stronger than a friendship.

And on Rachel's last night, they head off out to a nearby bar where Caleb and his guys challenge Jesse and his girls to a dance off. Rachel shies away at first but once Solace starts chanting her name (and she's loud enough for five separate people if not more) Rachel finds an inner diva even she didn't know existed. Jesse and the girl are crowned the champions and Caleb bows to Jesse's feet, pretending to shine Jesse's shoe before promptly stealing it off his foot and running off with it. The rest of the night carries on in the same playful, electric tone and all involved stumble home, tired yet content But when they awake, they're all suddenly a lot more sombre: it's Rachel's last day and for once, Rachel's not the only one shedding tears.

"Listen y'all, my hay fever is always picking up this time of year." Solace's tears quickly transpire into laughter and she pulls Rachel in for the biggest hug Rachel thinks she's ever felt. "Oh and Berry, you'd better be at our end of year show."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Rachel replies and Solace laughs because she can see Rachel's already beginning to plan her trip back. She then hugs Ruby who is reluctant to let go and so hugs Solace once Jesse manages to tug Rachel free.

"Girl, I'm not the one leaving," Solace laughs and the two girls stand beside each other, their arms round the other's back. They shuffle backwards a little because they need to give Rachel and Jesse time to say their own goodbyes.

"Jesse, I don't know where this leaves us," she tells him, teary-eyed. It's been, without a doubt, the best week of her life and everything she loved about Jesse the first time, she has fallen back in love with. But take her away from UCLA and put her back in Lima, and suddenly life doesn't seem half as bright and she can't see Jesse would ever want to come back when life out here is so much better. He doesn't answer her at first; instead he takes her hand and draws a heart on the back of her hand.

"You, Rachel Berry, have stolen my heart." And then he leans into to whisper to her ear. "But then, I think you already knew that."

She sniffs and tries not to cry by looking at the floor, but Jesse gently lifts her chin so he can see her face, even if it kills him to see her cry.

"And I'll be here waiting for you. That's when this leaves us." It's not quite a promise and it's leaving the ball very much in Rachel's court. But it's enough for Rachel: he's chosen her and for once, it feels nice to be wanted. She tells him to send her details about their end of year show and he tells her as soon as he hears anything, she'll hear it too. And then the moment has arrived; they can steal time no longer and they must bid their goodbyes.

He clasps her head in his hands and the tears spilling down her face are slowly drowning his heart. She tries to blink them away because they're doing a grand job of blurring her vision and she doesn't know when she'll next see him, so she wants her last image to be a clear one at least.

"When am I going to see you again?" Her voice breaks as soon as she begins to talk and she swears she hears Jesse sniffle quietly but he still manages to laugh at her trying to control her breathing.

"Before you know it," he replies kissing her lips and the salt from her tears tingles on the tip of his tongue.

"Jesse, I don't think that even makes sense." She hiccups a little because she's trying her hardest not to embark on full-blown Rachel Berry sobs.

"_We_ don't make sense," he kisses her again just because he can. She wipes her cheeks and runs her middle fingers under each eye to try and rid herself of the tears. It's the last calling for her plane and she knows she has to return eventually. And though it's killing her now, she knows that she's not leaving him, not completely. Because he's stolen a piece of her heart and she knows now that he'll keep it safe until they meet again. Although if anyone asks, she's not about to say he's stolen because the next time she sees him, she's going to give him her entire heart free of charge.

Because he's Jesse St. James, and though he's made mistakes, he finally deserves it. And she, Rachel Berry, deserves to be loved. And together, they'll steal all the moments they can.


End file.
